"The pathological dependency is a pathological relationship, one in which there is a beginning, progressive emotional and mental involvement, and a synergistic interplay between dependence and denial."— Daniel A. Linder, MFT
Considered groundbreaking, Linder establishes a new standard for understanding addiction by expounding upon the relationship aspect. He puts a refreshing spin on the concept of "unhealthy" dependency-based relationships.
Under the umbrella of unhealthy relationships, he includes mind/mood altering substances and activities such as sex, porn, and gambling, as well as relationships with real people as in the case of codependency and love addiction.
If what Linder postulates about the etiology of addiction is true — that it is based on the need to relieve pent-up pain from unmet needs sourced in one's past and current relationships — it's not too great of a leap to recognize that the ability to create emotionally nourishing relationships may be the primary goal of recovery.
For the clinician, it's a eureka moment when it registers that the cause may also be the cure.
The implications don't stop with addiction — they can be applied to the human condition and account for the phenomenon of psychopathology as we know it.
"In his discussion about porn and sex addiction, Linder describes what happens when imagination is added to denial's cadre of defenses. We may begin to feel concerned for ourselves as he brings our natural susceptibilities before our eyes. Before long we again wonder whether his model may well apply to all addictions. This unique little read includes other interesting discussions… as the clinician becomes more adept at reading subjective criteria, i.e. denial, earlier intervention does indeed become possible."— Neil Kobrin, Ph.D.
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