What Makes Daniel Unique
The relationship with your Self is the heart and soul of Daniel's work.
Daniel is a facilitator of conversations that need to be had. He creates an atmosphere of safety conducive for being honest and real with each other about the most charged feelings and issues — “pink elephant” conversations, often for the first time.
The trainer and artist in him focuses a lot on the arts of connecting, communication and conversation, and the essential skills that must be practiced and honed until they're second nature.
Discovering your Self and developing that relationship gives you access to the source of your connectivity, creativity, power and unique essence.
The cause is the cure. Non-nourishing relationships are the cause of the problems and pain that drive people to therapy, and being able to create nourishing relationships can then be considered the cure. Those problems dissolve and there's no longer the need for therapy.
Something happens in the room when two people are genuinely present with each other — really present, not performing, not defending. There's a quality of aliveness that opens up between them. Daniel has spent 40 years learning how to create the conditions for that to happen. When it does, he watches the miracle of connection unfolding before his eyes.
No matter what you have been through, it is always possible to create the miracle of connection for yourself. You must be on a path of rigorous self-work, in touch with a hunger to connect and the pain when your emotional needs go unmet, and have some fire in your belly.
The Relationship Model of Addiction™
His Relationship Model of Addiction views addiction as a means of relief from pain from unmet emotional needs, and recovery as a three-stage transitional journey out of unhealthy, non-nourishing relationships and into emotionally nourishing ones.
"Daniel challenged me to grow, reflect, and heal in ways I did not think were possible. He brings profound care, insight, emotional authenticity, and decades of wisdom to his work."Former Client
In His Own Words
I'm the "relationships guy."
I'm a natural-born relater off the streets of Brooklyn—ready to connect with anyone, anytime, anywhere, about anything.
I never had to wonder what I was going to do with my life. I chose the field of therapy at the ripe old age of 25 — it was a no brainer. Therapy with a central focus on relationships was what I was most interested in, enjoyed the most, best at and most passionate about.
I've been studying relationships since I was five years old. Back then, I was already noticing the stark difference between people around me who were close and connected versus those who were disconnected and at odds. The tension was palpable. This early sensitivity became my compass.
When it came to emotions and relationships, I always trusted my senses and intuition. I had a relationship with my Self but didn't know I had one until much later in life. I was always talking to myself about what I saw happening in the relationships around me. My laser-sharp focus became my life's work.
What I learned after nearly 40 years of clinical work is that the cause is the cure. Nearly all the problems that bring people into therapy are relationship sourced, that is; a direct, and sometimes indirect, result of the lack of nourishment and pain from unmet emotional needs from past and current relationships.
"All of the work I do is about empowering the transformation of relationships by strengthening the relationship with your Self. You transform your relationship with others by transforming the relationship with your Self. You can't connect if you're not connected."
It doesn't matter what you've been through in your life and regardless of how nourishing your relationships have been, it is possible for you to learn the art and make your dream of having an inner circle of primary nourishing relationships, other than the one with your Self of course, come true.
For Fellow Practitioners
For the whole of my forty years of experience, I was always aware of a flame that was burning bright inside me, to make a grand contribution to the field of relationship therapy.
I wish to breathe new life and creative verve into your work, expand your repertoire of interventions, and provide psychoeducation that could empower your clients to transform their relationships and you bear witness to their changes and growth.
"I feel immensely proud to be your first student in earnest — nearly 40 years in the making. The idea of having a relationship with myself was always a mystery to me; I often felt like a stranger within myself. Then one day, in a moment of deep despair, I heard myself say: 'I am not leaving myself flat in this place.' That was my Eureka moment — the first time I consciously chose to stay with myself, explore, and listen. Over time, a unifying voice emerged from among all the others — and that voice made me happier. I now see the wisdom in your love, and I finally understand what you were teaching me all along."Taye Linder, Daniel's wife of nearly 40 years