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Why do people change when they get married? And is there any hope for them to have a mature relationship?
I was with someone for two years and then married two years. Everything was great when we were together and we lived together, but as soon as we were married and then had a child...my husband began to act like a sullen, disrespectful child. He stopped working, began using substances and was a verbally abuse and withdrawn person. Why do people change when they get married? And is there any hope for them to have a mature relationship?
Response from Daniel...
Why do people change when they get married? And is there any hope for them to have a mature relationship?
The answers to those questions are specific only to you and your husband, and could certainly be further explored in the confines of a couples therapy setting. Much can be revealed when you have the opportunity to actually discuss these issues with each other. Just imagine a conversation starting with, "My perception (or experience) is that everything was great when we were together and we lived together, but as soon as we were married and had a child, everything changed. Your behavior towards me changed...You stopped working, began using substances and were often verbally abusive to me." Communication does wonders for a relationship. Couples therapy will afford you the opportunity start talking about these issues and to achieve a deeper understanding and, no doubt it is possible that your relationship, sense of closeness, intimacy and 'maturity" can be vastly improved.
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About Daniel Linder, MFT
Relationships. I was born with a keen sense about relationships, was always assessing how close and intimate people are with each other. I had a knack for relationships. The importance of relationships cuts to the core of who I am. The combination of clinical training, 25 years of professional experience treating dysfunctional, non-intimate couples and families, as well as rigorous self analysis has given me a lot to work with. I put what seemed to come naturally to me under a microscope in an effort to break the process of building healthy relationships down to concrete essentials: Understanding of Basic Principles, Communication Skills, Self-realization and Intimacy.