Pent Up Pain from Unresolved Emotional Needs

I was abused as a child by both parents. I married a man old enough to be my father, who controlled me completely. Then I married a totally inept man, who is now in a home with dementia. I have had a relationship with Gerry for nearly 3 years now. When I first met him he swept me off my feet, my dream lover, the love of my life, I used to call him ‘Mr. Wonderful’. He was very charming, exciting and dangerous. As soon as he was sure of me, he would reject me and be cold and indifferent; I left him several times, and got back with him because I longed for him sexually. I want an end.

Response from Daniel?

The way you described your history in relationships, as well as your current tendencies, there is strong indication of addictions gone untreated. The pent-up pain of unresolved emotional needs has left you desperate for relief, reliant on denial, imagination and sex for relief that sends you into codependent, sexually-based relationships that supplies zero emotional nourishment. You use sex for love, depend on relationships to provide what has long been missing, are unaware of your motivation, haven’t learned to exercise healthy self-interest in your relationships, and haven’t developed a spiritual program. When addictions are raging out of control, stabilization is the first step to be followed by a year of intensive self-work and program support before getting into another sexually intimate relationship.

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author Daniel Linder
category General, Relationship
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