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How long will it take to overcome a porn addiciton?
How long will it take to overcome a porn addiction?
Response from Daniel...
The steps to overcoming porn addiction are as follows:
1 One must first recognize there is a problem. As is the case with any addiction, there is a loss of control, that is an inability of stop despite resultant problems. The addiction or dependency is a relationship with a means of relief, i.e. porn that is overpowering and all consuming, that one's life revolves around this relationship at the expense of all other relationships. Isolation sets in as relationships with real people become increasingly more difficult, in not, impossible. The porn addict becomes accustomed to relating to only sexually and emotionally charged images when masturbating. This relationship is carried secretly. Denial and delusion make it impossible to accurately assess whether a problem exist as well as the severity of the problem. Usually getting busted causes some kind of crisis, in personal or professional relationships or legal consequences are precipitating events that lead to a realization that there is a problem and a need to seek professional help.
2 The next step is achieving sustained stabilization, that is, abstinence, cutting off that relationship, stopping the "secret love affair." In order to achieve a period of sustained stabilization, the recovering porn addict must be rigorously participating in a program that provides support and therapy, which includes daily or several times/wkly meetings or sessions. Transitioning to a life that doesn't include porn will be challenging as there will be constant cravings and triggers must learn how to deal with.
3 After a period of sustained stabilization is achieved, a period of intensive self-work is necessary. Most addictions are driven by pain related to longstanding unconscious, unmet emotional needs, and the need to relieve this pain. During this period of self-work, one learns to rely on oneself as a resource, become more self-aware, develop healthy self-care practices, make healthier decisions; in short, build the relationship with oneself.
4 After having established a relationship with oneself, the next step is to go through a period of relationship training -- developing the understanding and skills that make creating healthy, intimate, emotionally nourishing relationships possible.
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About Daniel Linder, MFT
Relationships. I was born with a keen sense about relationships, was always assessing how close and intimate people are with each other. I had a knack for relationships. The importance of relationships cuts to the core of who I am. The combination of clinical training, 25 years of professional experience treating dysfunctional, non-intimate couples and families, as well as rigorous self analysis has given me a lot to work with. I put what seemed to come naturally to me under a microscope in an effort to break the process of building healthy relationships down to concrete essentials: Understanding of Basic Principles, Communication Skills, Self-realization and Intimacy.