Bio: Daniel A. Linder, MFT

Daniel A. Linder, MFT

’m a natural born ‘relater.’ I was always into relationships; good ones and bad ones. And I was aware of how differently I felt when I was around relatively healthy people and relationships versus being amidst of unhealthy people and relationships. I was also paying attention to how I felt in my own personal relationships and when I was relating to other people, especially those I was closest to. I was acutely aware of whether I was more open o r more closed, close and more connected of more disconnected, when I felt understood or misunderstood. What a show my life was! I was in the audience and I was on stage. I was also the student who attended every class (every person I’m around or am relating to) and never stopped my study. 

What did I glean from thirty plus years of work with individuals, couples and families? I’ve come to believe that whatever it is that brings people into therapy, whether they are struggling with anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma or other stressors, the common causal factor that links them all together is - the breakdown of primary relationships, past and current relationships. 

The overwhelming majority of the people I’ve worked with were living and coping with the pain of relationships that fail to provide adequate nourishment or in which there is constant discord, unresolved issues and severe communication difficulties that were, no doubt at least contributing factors to what compelled them to seek therapy. Additionally, I found that all of these clients also lacked experience in healthy relationships and lacked of healthy role models, and that they never learned how to relate or connect. They were never taught. I was bound and determined to provide the relationship training that would ultimately empower them to make the changes they so desired in their lives and relationships. 

There is also the over-arching theme in my work regarding my client’s struggles was the lack of relationship with one’s Self, and that therapy was about restoring the relationship with one’s Self. Those who have developed relationships with their Selves are more likely and able to create healthy nourishing relationships. The quality of one’s relationships is relative to the quality of one’s relationship with one’s Self.  

About Daniel A. Linder 

Daniel Linder is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Addiction Specialist and Relationship Trainer, practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area, doing individual, couples, family and group therapy since 1981.    

Daniel describes himself as a “self and relationship-based” therapist whose work and writing have mindfulness-based themes running through them.  “The most important relationship is with your Self.” “The quality of your relationships is the quality of your life.’ “Empowerment comes from awareness.” “Relating and intimacy are art forms requiring knowhow.”   

Daniel had created a new paradigm for understanding addiction, and recovery that highlights the emotional and relationship aspects of addiction - The Relationship Model of Addiction(TRMA™).  (Addiction is a relationship with a means of relief of pain from unmet emotional needs. Recovery is a journey out of non-emotionally nourishing relationships and into emotionally nourishing ones. The Three Stages of Recovery are: I- Breaking-up; II- Developing the Relationship with Self; III- Creating Emotionally Nourishing Relationships (relationship training). Daniel’s personal experience includes twenty years in recovery from porn addiction and compulsive gambling.   

Daniel had developed intensive relationship-training workshops for dating singles that focuses on dating, relating and connecting. In 1993, he created Dating to Relate, the first and only dating therapy group of its kind, in which participants go on ‘practice dates’ with each other and post-date debriefings between those who had gone on practice dates with each other. He is now conducting workshops and webinars focusing on the first time you meet someone, as well as relationship training workshops for couples. .    

Dating to Relate led to, Dating, A Guide to Creating Intimate Relationships (1995), which led to Intimacy, The Essence of True Love (2007). He had written, To Relieve the Pain, Demystifying Addiction (2004) and Beyond Sobriety, Empowering the Transformation of Relationships (2006), and most recently, Humanizing Addiction, The Relationship Model of Addiction TM, (2016); as well as numerous articles on addiction, recovery and relationships (free access from his Relationship Vision website).,  .   

His website is a top addiction recovery and relationship training resource for health professionals, offering an abundance of free, easily accessible, high value educational materials, e-books, webinars, courses; materials, available for purchase as well.

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