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An Anecdotal Story from a Recovering Co-Dependent

"You cut me off like you cut off mommy when she died." Only four days back from a drug relapse, my brother Billy's statement would have charged me up for a week. This time I understood how entwined I was with him.I didn't feel the electrical surge in my stomach when my guardians were doing their jobs perfectly. They had blocked the seduction to get into a long drawn out saga with him. I no longer ....(Read full article...)

Me, You, Us - Entering the Sacred Space of Co-creation

Intimacy is something we all want, yet it remains elusive, rare and mysterious. Some people have intimate relationships, but most don't. Lack of relationship fulfillment is the norm. Many of us want to know how to establish an intimate relationship-from single people who are wondering why they are still single to those in relationships who want a healthier, more nourishing connection with their pa....(Read full article...)

The Relationship Model of Addiction

Introducing, The Relationship Model of Addiction By Daniel Linder MFT In inherent limitation of the medical model is ignoring the fact that a pathological dependence implies that a relationship, one that is emotional and psychological in nature, has formed with the substance or activity (i.e. alcohol/drugs, gambling, porn, sex and love addictions). By neglecting essential emotional aspects ther....(Read full article...)

Finding True Love Through Intimacy

Finding True Love Through Intimacy By Daniel Linder MFT A lot of people have been asking about true love; is there such a thing; if so, what is it? Is it attainable; if so, how attainable is it? If it were just love, I wouldn't have so much difficulty. But, true love? Talking about true love is risky business. I can imagine taking a poll, going around asking people who are looking for true l....(Read full article...)

Revisiting the Age Old Case of Diagnostic Confusion: Sociopath vs. Psychopath

  by Daniel Linder As Robert Hare had indicated in an article written in 1996, "The distinction between psychopathy and anti-social personality disorders is of considerable significance to the mental health and criminal justice systems. Unfortunately, it is a distinction that is often blurred, not only in the minds of many clinicians but in the latest edition of DSM-IV." The DSM-IV has both ....(Read full article...)

"No Intimate Relationships During the First Year of Sobriety!"

Recovering addicts hear this all the time in 12-step programs. However, this sound bit of wisdom is rarely heeded. Many have a hard time accepting that a hiatus from intimate relationships is necessary. In their minds, dating and new relationships seem benign. As long as I'm not using and we're not using and are in a program, I'm safe. Not so fast. Getting into an intimate relationship prematurely....(Read full article...)

Anonymous Sex: Freedom or Isolation

For the passed five years, I've been conducting 'relationship training' workshops primarily for the heterosexual. The objective of these workshops is to teach principles and skills for building, healthy intimate relationships. When, a year or so ago, a lesbian colleague approached me about extending these workshops to the gay population, I fel....(Read full article...)

Acting Responsibly In The Face of Desire

Would you like to have an affair? vs. Would you have an affair? These are two different questions, each so volatile in nature that most of us prefer not to think about them. My purpose in asking (as well as answering them for myself) is to shed light on what might be the greatest challenge in developing and sustaining an intimate re....(Read full article...)

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About Daniel Linder, MFT

Daniel Linder Relationships. I was born with a keen sense about relationships, was always assessing how close and intimate people are with each other. I had a knack for relationships. The importance of relationships cuts to the core of who I am. The combination of clinical training, 30 years of professional experience treating addictive, non-intimate couples and families, as well as rigorous self analysis has given me a lot to work with. I put what seemed to come naturally to me under a microscope in an effort to break the process of building healthy relationships down to concrete essentials: Understanding of Basic Principles, Communication Skills, Self-realization and Intimacy.

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